they called me june bug jezebel

like the painted name 
could shame me
as if a girl who glows in the dark
was something to be sorry for

i clattered against every lit window
my wanting louder
than their permission

dumb and gold and unrepentant

i mistook brightness 
for belonging

mistook locked doors
for invitations

mistook their warnings
for concern

but they were the ones
behind glass

all warm lamp
and locked jaw

calling it virtue
to starve